newsminer.com

FAIRBANKS — A few years ago, I was feeling overwhelmed with the burdens of caregiving for family members.

I remember a particular Sunday when I had to sandwich my brother and his cane into the back seat of a small car so I could fit my mother in the front seat and her wheelchair in the trunk and take us all to church. It seemed like a lot of effort to get to the house of God.

In retrospect, of course it wasn’t all that difficult and it was well worth the effort once we made it to church because I got to hear Mom sing.

She had a hard time finding the words to say what she wanted to communicate after suffering a stroke, but amazingly she could still sing all the words to many of the hymns we’d sung at church for years.

Still, that Sunday I was feeling the stress of seeing her suffer. I was feeling the pressure of being able to carve out time for her amid a myriad of deadlines and commitments. And I was feeling sorry for myself.

I blamed God, of course. I thought at the time that my cross was just too much to bear.

That’s when God began to teach me about qorban.

Qorban is a quirky little word that pops up in the Bible in the seventh chapter of the Gospel of Mark. Jesus is talking to the Pharisees about their disregard for the laws of God in favor of human precepts, like qorban.

“For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and ‘Whoever curses father or mother shall die.’ Yet you say, ‘If a person says to father or mother, “Any support you might have had from me is qorban”’ (meaning, dedicated to God), you allow him to do nothing more for his father or mother. You nullify the word of God in favor of your tradition that you have handed on. And you do many such things.” Mark 7:10-13

The footnotes in my Bible describe qorban as a formula for a gift to God, dedicating the offering to the temple, so that the giver might actually continue to use it for himself (or herself) but not give it to others, even needy parents.

It sounds like quite the clever little loophole to get out of giving to God and others, be it of time, talent or treasure. Leave it to those Pharisees to come up with legalistic ways to get around the spirit of God’s law.

Yet, I had a similar attitude toward caring for family members. Albeit unintentionally, I had begun to look at the time it took to help my loved ones as a duty, an obligation to fulfill, instead of an opportunity to serve God by caring for my brothers and sisters, or in this case my mother.

God gave me an attitude adjustment, and my burdens became lighter. I began to realize that it was actually a blessing and a ministry to be able to help those closest to me.

Now that Mom is gone, I would give almost anything to be able to sing with her in church again. But the blessing of journeying with her along the last leg of her life will live in my heart, right next to the sacred heart of Jesus, all the days of my life.

Insight is sponsored by the Tanana Valley Christian Conference.

Peggy Frank is a parishioner of Sacred Heart Cathedral and a lay associate of the Dominican Sisters of Peace.